A special person is attracted by your grace and dignity.
You need to forgive yourself for your mistakes and let go of your anger so that you can see clearly. What's done is done. What's past is past. Learn from those mistakes, and the situations and decisions that led you to make those mistakes, and move forward.
Don't live in the dark. If you have a question, ask it. If you need to know how to do something, or you need more information, ask.